Godsday, 4th Fireseek
I would not have predicted that restoration of this ruined round shell keep would have offended the dwur nobles of this territory, completely devoid of any forifications for defence along what is now the intimate frontier of the enemies lands. I must be careful while the regent and the nobles decide how to handle this matter. In the meantime I have asked the TBlood clansmen whom reside here at the Fort, and constitute it's garrison to take possession of it and represent me while I take my leave of this foolishness.
I will be traveling to the coast once more, I have been told that there is a ship I know put in at the capitol for repairs. I will send another post home aboard her, and see if there is news or word from home in response to my last batch of letters.
Ms. Liepzig has fallen ill again, I suspect allergies to something in the kitchen by now and have instructed the place to be turned over until the offending victules are discovered. Two cases of high country summer wine destroyed by 'accident' in the process. I suspect some manner of shadow commerce may be to blame, more than butter fingers.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Monday, November 1, 2010
Critique
The navigator, while wintering over in Ulek had taken on an assistant or apprentice. While many of the navigators early traveling companions remain anonymous for their protection, this assistant is revealed through a copy of a letter found amongst the navigators papers from this period. The letter is from the assistant, identified as 'N' to a friend identified only as 'F'. The letter includes a blistering critique of the navigator’s personality and ability as a wizard but his reaction to this otherwise invisible character from his history is unclear.
Dearest F (unintelligible),
It is with great urgency I dispatch this letter for I fear that I have become a witness to madness and wish in the sharing of the burden of knowing to lighten the weight bearing on my spirit. I had believed that this trip away might afford me some opportunity to continue on my appointed path and allow me to return quickly. Regrettably, father's well intentioned efforts have sealed my doom, but do not blame him -he only wants for my happiness.
The noble wizard to whom my education has been entrusted has only been recently knighted (under questionable circumstance) and he is in reality an orphan of no account, and a seaman by trade! Certainly he is handsome and dashing but he is also a fool, and may even have been a pyrate!
In a recent trip this winter to the coast, we spent three days and countless coin provisioning an orphanage (the issue of criminals, pyrates and worse). I would not begrudge a rightful bit of charity, but the master knows much of the wood, food and clothing will be stolen and resold by the local rogues and the children will only continue to suffer. When I explained this to him he ignored me on our way to an even more expensive undertaking.
In the public square, he had hired a crier to issue a proclamation offering amnesty from taxation for any craftsmen who would relocate to his keep to help in its outfitting, and apprentice one of the orphans. Think of that, no taxes would mean the master would be responsible to the crown for the a thousand pounds of silver annually! The recruiting trip for workmen was wildly successful, and now he's planning a fund raising trip to pay for his charity. This would be a simple matter of petitioning a few wealthy patrons for aid if he were a proper knight ennobled at birth, but the master has other plans.
He has begun instructing me in self defense and special tactical employment of the magic he has yet to give me. I fear I may meet my end on this next trip despite his reassurances to the contrary. He has enlisted the help of a companion who appears wholly to be one of the enemy whom I am afraid even to look upon.
This has not diminished my will to carry on, only my hope of finding success and a way back to you. If I fail in satisfying the master, you may not hear from me again, if I find success I fear, he will send me again into the crucible and for fathers honor I dare not refuse.
Yours,
N
Dearest F (unintelligible),
It is with great urgency I dispatch this letter for I fear that I have become a witness to madness and wish in the sharing of the burden of knowing to lighten the weight bearing on my spirit. I had believed that this trip away might afford me some opportunity to continue on my appointed path and allow me to return quickly. Regrettably, father's well intentioned efforts have sealed my doom, but do not blame him -he only wants for my happiness.
The noble wizard to whom my education has been entrusted has only been recently knighted (under questionable circumstance) and he is in reality an orphan of no account, and a seaman by trade! Certainly he is handsome and dashing but he is also a fool, and may even have been a pyrate!
In a recent trip this winter to the coast, we spent three days and countless coin provisioning an orphanage (the issue of criminals, pyrates and worse). I would not begrudge a rightful bit of charity, but the master knows much of the wood, food and clothing will be stolen and resold by the local rogues and the children will only continue to suffer. When I explained this to him he ignored me on our way to an even more expensive undertaking.
In the public square, he had hired a crier to issue a proclamation offering amnesty from taxation for any craftsmen who would relocate to his keep to help in its outfitting, and apprentice one of the orphans. Think of that, no taxes would mean the master would be responsible to the crown for the a thousand pounds of silver annually! The recruiting trip for workmen was wildly successful, and now he's planning a fund raising trip to pay for his charity. This would be a simple matter of petitioning a few wealthy patrons for aid if he were a proper knight ennobled at birth, but the master has other plans.
He has begun instructing me in self defense and special tactical employment of the magic he has yet to give me. I fear I may meet my end on this next trip despite his reassurances to the contrary. He has enlisted the help of a companion who appears wholly to be one of the enemy whom I am afraid even to look upon.
This has not diminished my will to carry on, only my hope of finding success and a way back to you. If I fail in satisfying the master, you may not hear from me again, if I find success I fear, he will send me again into the crucible and for fathers honor I dare not refuse.
Yours,
N
Friday, October 22, 2010
The Coming of Spring
The Navigator made a trip to the coast to celebrate the end of winter with friends there. He made some detailed notes about preparations for the trip which show he traveled with at least three unnamed companions. The surviving journal fragments from this trip are in being restored and preserved in the archives. The display here is the only surviving intact journal entry from the trip.
The early onset of the melt, typical of the Sheldomar I'm told, is a terrific relief. The weather threatened to undo much of the progress we made in the fall. The enemy too is thawing and before I face them I've decided to take part in some early spring festivities. On the way our path was crossed by a most foolish thief who attempted to abscond with my mount, and much of our supplies, including my books.
My business colleague and the Srg. we're able to locate the scoundrel we recovered our equipment. The thief was sent on his way, with only a minor drubbing for his trouble, courtesy of the Srg.
At the coast, the festivities were most splendid in light of the recent hostilities. I made it a priority to do no work on this journey and have succedded beyond all expectations. I have been able to locate a suitable gift for the Srg. to repay him for all the work he has done to make this trip work, I do hope he likes it.
The early onset of the melt, typical of the Sheldomar I'm told, is a terrific relief. The weather threatened to undo much of the progress we made in the fall. The enemy too is thawing and before I face them I've decided to take part in some early spring festivities. On the way our path was crossed by a most foolish thief who attempted to abscond with my mount, and much of our supplies, including my books.
My business colleague and the Srg. we're able to locate the scoundrel we recovered our equipment. The thief was sent on his way, with only a minor drubbing for his trouble, courtesy of the Srg.
At the coast, the festivities were most splendid in light of the recent hostilities. I made it a priority to do no work on this journey and have succedded beyond all expectations. I have been able to locate a suitable gift for the Srg. to repay him for all the work he has done to make this trip work, I do hope he likes it.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Eureka!
This is a short hand written note included in this periods collection showing that the Navigator did not abandon magical research during this time and very well may have had some help.
Churchill has on more than one occassion saved my life, that of my comrades and allowed us to find success in our most recent campaing in the R'marche. However, I was concerned with some of his limitations in escaping some hazards. For example during the storm in which our battle concluded, he very well could have drowned. Were he a different manner of creature; toad, tortise or fish he might have been safer. At other times the power of flight might have kept him safe and allowed us to gather still greater information on our enemies. To this end I have been working to produce a magic that might allow him to change his shape to that of another animal.
I believe that I have mastered the means by which to allow him to do this however I am, suddenly reluctant to risk him in experimentation with this magic. Far to precious is he for me to risk and I can imagine the same puzzle has vexed many other conjurers in the past. I have shelved the completed formulae (never verifying it works) and begun crafting some new concepts to help him do his work. I hate to think I may have wasted some time and now need to return to research to craft something useful.
Churchill has on more than one occassion saved my life, that of my comrades and allowed us to find success in our most recent campaing in the R'marche. However, I was concerned with some of his limitations in escaping some hazards. For example during the storm in which our battle concluded, he very well could have drowned. Were he a different manner of creature; toad, tortise or fish he might have been safer. At other times the power of flight might have kept him safe and allowed us to gather still greater information on our enemies. To this end I have been working to produce a magic that might allow him to change his shape to that of another animal.
I believe that I have mastered the means by which to allow him to do this however I am, suddenly reluctant to risk him in experimentation with this magic. Far to precious is he for me to risk and I can imagine the same puzzle has vexed many other conjurers in the past. I have shelved the completed formulae (never verifying it works) and begun crafting some new concepts to help him do his work. I hate to think I may have wasted some time and now need to return to research to craft something useful.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Interlude
Few of the Navigator's entires over the next few months survive today. The few that that do are still being investigated by museum archivists. The vast majority of them record simple mundane entries. An typical sample entry follows:
Godsday, too cold to snow. Drazil returns.
Other entries record business transactions surrounding the construction of his home:
Shipment #11235 arrives short, inquire with Mitch
And drafts of correspondence with the admirialty court in Gyrax pertaining to his most recent sailing abord Tempest.
There are also hotly debated, undated, partially intact letters that reveal a possible romance with one or possibly two partners at this time. The debate surrounding these documents is related to the code names of places and times the Navigator often utilizes in his letters. Some have suggested that now Sir Kildare was involved with another man. This has caused great anguish for his heirs, and his order and most mainstream researchers belive that the code names used represent only the young lady he would marry the following year. What follows is the only fully intact, restored and suitable for display writing of the navigator from the period.
Interlude: 11 Sunsebb, Godsday: I have returned from the coast to find the bitter cold of this early winter to have halted all work on the keep wall and defenses. The Sea Prince or Barons if you prefer have been most active along the coast and word of war on the Wild at Safeton-Bar Harbor have reached our shores. I would trust my own judgement and dismiss these rumors as just that however, after the most recent experience with my own judgement about such activity I will consult a seer before dismissing such horrible news. Ms. Leipzig is well, having recovered fully now from her illness. Her work has suffered but she is in good spirits and on the mend.
This is the only occassion in which the Navigator is known to have refered to a woman living with hime prior to his marriage the following summer. It is not know who exactly she is.
Godsday, too cold to snow. Drazil returns.
Other entries record business transactions surrounding the construction of his home:
Shipment #11235 arrives short, inquire with Mitch
And drafts of correspondence with the admirialty court in Gyrax pertaining to his most recent sailing abord Tempest.
There are also hotly debated, undated, partially intact letters that reveal a possible romance with one or possibly two partners at this time. The debate surrounding these documents is related to the code names of places and times the Navigator often utilizes in his letters. Some have suggested that now Sir Kildare was involved with another man. This has caused great anguish for his heirs, and his order and most mainstream researchers belive that the code names used represent only the young lady he would marry the following year. What follows is the only fully intact, restored and suitable for display writing of the navigator from the period.
Interlude: 11 Sunsebb, Godsday: I have returned from the coast to find the bitter cold of this early winter to have halted all work on the keep wall and defenses. The Sea Prince or Barons if you prefer have been most active along the coast and word of war on the Wild at Safeton-Bar Harbor have reached our shores. I would trust my own judgement and dismiss these rumors as just that however, after the most recent experience with my own judgement about such activity I will consult a seer before dismissing such horrible news. Ms. Leipzig is well, having recovered fully now from her illness. Her work has suffered but she is in good spirits and on the mend.
This is the only occassion in which the Navigator is known to have refered to a woman living with hime prior to his marriage the following summer. It is not know who exactly she is.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Thunder and Lightning
I entered our last battle before reaching the safety of Haven Hill filled with doubt for our success, worried about the mud and the eight hundred souls our thin line defends. But when the hour arrived and we approached our attack position, Chief and I crawling on our bellies to avoid detection, the misting rain and distant thunder rumbling filled me with excited joy and power; a new confidence. Not lust for blood or rage, nor false courage - fear had not completely left me but neither did my bones hear its council but a calming knowing that the Storm Lord who hath favored us each day of this venture was now aroused to anger and at my back driving blindingly against the monsters eyes.
Chief Horaz, stood and he flexed his muscles behind me you could the wood strain against him crackling as it was pulled taught. Shayla notched her first shot and I signaled them to loose their volley. The enemy were caught completely unaware - a distant crack of thunder concealing the arrows hissing flight towards them. Two enemies fell instantly dead, we saw one tumble to the roadway below and the Chief was frightening to behold as he snarled and launched another arrow.
I signaled Na'il and his dwur companions to move next, they were to execute a wide hook to the right flank of the enemy, and I would follow on an inside hook route to support him. The enemy was not thrown into complete disarray - it was clear they were well prepared and they were able to react rather quickly but their hurried rally to attack Na'il's flank brought their cavalry into my trap. I stepped out of the brush and as Na'il loosed a bolt of lightning into a near group of foes - killing most of them instantly, I put the flanking enemy forces to sleep, the Storm Lord blessed me with great power and their flanking attack was halted in its tracks.
Our archers continued their barrage; Na'il pressed on leading his team and loosed a second and third bolt devastating the enemy cavalry. As I sent a second group into a deep slumber I became increasingly aware of the horrific smell of burnt flesh and fur and enemy archers trying to get a bead on me. I moved behind Cade and helped him bring down an orc with a pair of hurled daggers before I was struck by an archer from above. I looked for help but everyone was engaged.
I staggered - there the arrow was projecting from my chest like a spar or bowsprit, it had penetrated my armor spell and become lodged in a rib, thankfully the armor spells protection guided it so it would not bounce into vital organs or I would have been killed instantly. Still I was now rendered hors de combat and decided to retire. I tried to call out to Horaz to join me he seemed to hear but not understand. He later told me that he had heard my cry but didn't understand it so he intensified his fire and finished off the archers on the hill.
I pulled my traveler from my coat and opened it to the bookmarked page - burning hands as a pair of enemy worgs set upon me. I was able to stumble away from their lunging attacks and read the spell from my book destroying the page but I succeeded in sending the beasts howling away badly seared for their trouble. I saw behind them an enemy archer previously not accounted for - he was moving in for the kill and all my allies were preoccupied. I looked to my book Charm Person was the next page open now, it was not damaged and so I began to read as I fell to a knee and Church leapt from his hiding place in my messenger bag. The archer seemed perplexed by my action - reading, kneeling in the rain, bleeding and the sight of the cat leaping from my side he hesitated before drawing an arrow from his quiver – I belted out the incantation and watched the page burn “Come friend” I shouted motioning with my hand to the archer.
Success! He lowered his weapon and scurried toward me. I pointed to a worg on Cade’s flank he understood me and fired on the beast. I then turned to survey my situation. I knew I had to withdraw so I looked to find a clear path away. Wind began to drive the rain upwards from the ground into my face, lightning sliced open the sky and the thunder slapped my breath away. There over my right side Na’il had somehow harnessed more lightning and struck the enemies commander with enough force to disintegrate him. I saw him explode in a grayish cloud of bone and burnt flesh in response to a simple touch by the dainty olven man. If Na’il continued to follow the plan he would finish his hook maneuver and I could retreat past him so I started towards him. My archer followed firing again at enemy reinforcements coming out of the darkness brought by the storm.
I got away; safe beyond even seeing the battle. I heard it faintly in the distance for a moment. I fell to the ground and allowed myself a moment of rest. Lightning struck a distant hilltop and I decided to cut this arrow away lest the sky mistake me for a tree. Rain poured over me washing fatigue away. I stood, alone and though I knew the Storm Lord was with me, I also knew it would not be wise to remain out of doors much longer – his fury being unpredictable. Na’il’s voice somehow reached me “more orcs” he cried. I looked at poor miserable Church; there is nothing quite as pathetic as a cat soaked to the bones. I tucked him back into his hiding spot and took him with me back into the darkness towards the din of battle.
My thoughts drifted oddly to Perry and the refugees. Knowing he was there to guard them let me then forget them and focus again; I turned my traveler to Sleep knowing that burning it would leave me defenseless should I live to need it tomorrow and that under these conditions I might not succeed in reading it and destroy the spell book for naught. As I approached the hill and figures became visible through the torrent I sensed Horaz out there alive and vibrant in a murderous rage, and my archer was struggling to recover after being struck by someone. I saw Shayla controlling the road checking the sleepers – with the water on the ground I suspected they may have drowned. It was knee deep in places, and rivulets poured from atop the hill around which the battle flowed.
Na'il sprinted up beside me and disabled the bulk of the remaining enemy with a powerful and frightening spell, Horaz, Shayla and Cade took care of the rest. Drazil tended to Ruggin and we hastened to return to the refugees. We found the bulk of them safe, and we hurried down the road to Kaska. The Storm Lord relented and we were greeted by friendly troops as we approached Havenhill. I finally felt that it was over, I could breathe easy and take some rest, relieved of the burden of looking over my shoulder constantly on guard for angry enemies. Seven were lost on the trail [The navigator recorded their names but the entry is illegible] to the arms of the gods, one taken for each hero who fought that day and lived who also numbered seven.
Chief Horaz, stood and he flexed his muscles behind me you could the wood strain against him crackling as it was pulled taught. Shayla notched her first shot and I signaled them to loose their volley. The enemy were caught completely unaware - a distant crack of thunder concealing the arrows hissing flight towards them. Two enemies fell instantly dead, we saw one tumble to the roadway below and the Chief was frightening to behold as he snarled and launched another arrow.
I signaled Na'il and his dwur companions to move next, they were to execute a wide hook to the right flank of the enemy, and I would follow on an inside hook route to support him. The enemy was not thrown into complete disarray - it was clear they were well prepared and they were able to react rather quickly but their hurried rally to attack Na'il's flank brought their cavalry into my trap. I stepped out of the brush and as Na'il loosed a bolt of lightning into a near group of foes - killing most of them instantly, I put the flanking enemy forces to sleep, the Storm Lord blessed me with great power and their flanking attack was halted in its tracks.
Our archers continued their barrage; Na'il pressed on leading his team and loosed a second and third bolt devastating the enemy cavalry. As I sent a second group into a deep slumber I became increasingly aware of the horrific smell of burnt flesh and fur and enemy archers trying to get a bead on me. I moved behind Cade and helped him bring down an orc with a pair of hurled daggers before I was struck by an archer from above. I looked for help but everyone was engaged.
I staggered - there the arrow was projecting from my chest like a spar or bowsprit, it had penetrated my armor spell and become lodged in a rib, thankfully the armor spells protection guided it so it would not bounce into vital organs or I would have been killed instantly. Still I was now rendered hors de combat and decided to retire. I tried to call out to Horaz to join me he seemed to hear but not understand. He later told me that he had heard my cry but didn't understand it so he intensified his fire and finished off the archers on the hill.
I pulled my traveler from my coat and opened it to the bookmarked page - burning hands as a pair of enemy worgs set upon me. I was able to stumble away from their lunging attacks and read the spell from my book destroying the page but I succeeded in sending the beasts howling away badly seared for their trouble. I saw behind them an enemy archer previously not accounted for - he was moving in for the kill and all my allies were preoccupied. I looked to my book Charm Person was the next page open now, it was not damaged and so I began to read as I fell to a knee and Church leapt from his hiding place in my messenger bag. The archer seemed perplexed by my action - reading, kneeling in the rain, bleeding and the sight of the cat leaping from my side he hesitated before drawing an arrow from his quiver – I belted out the incantation and watched the page burn “Come friend” I shouted motioning with my hand to the archer.
Success! He lowered his weapon and scurried toward me. I pointed to a worg on Cade’s flank he understood me and fired on the beast. I then turned to survey my situation. I knew I had to withdraw so I looked to find a clear path away. Wind began to drive the rain upwards from the ground into my face, lightning sliced open the sky and the thunder slapped my breath away. There over my right side Na’il had somehow harnessed more lightning and struck the enemies commander with enough force to disintegrate him. I saw him explode in a grayish cloud of bone and burnt flesh in response to a simple touch by the dainty olven man. If Na’il continued to follow the plan he would finish his hook maneuver and I could retreat past him so I started towards him. My archer followed firing again at enemy reinforcements coming out of the darkness brought by the storm.
I got away; safe beyond even seeing the battle. I heard it faintly in the distance for a moment. I fell to the ground and allowed myself a moment of rest. Lightning struck a distant hilltop and I decided to cut this arrow away lest the sky mistake me for a tree. Rain poured over me washing fatigue away. I stood, alone and though I knew the Storm Lord was with me, I also knew it would not be wise to remain out of doors much longer – his fury being unpredictable. Na’il’s voice somehow reached me “more orcs” he cried. I looked at poor miserable Church; there is nothing quite as pathetic as a cat soaked to the bones. I tucked him back into his hiding spot and took him with me back into the darkness towards the din of battle.
My thoughts drifted oddly to Perry and the refugees. Knowing he was there to guard them let me then forget them and focus again; I turned my traveler to Sleep knowing that burning it would leave me defenseless should I live to need it tomorrow and that under these conditions I might not succeed in reading it and destroy the spell book for naught. As I approached the hill and figures became visible through the torrent I sensed Horaz out there alive and vibrant in a murderous rage, and my archer was struggling to recover after being struck by someone. I saw Shayla controlling the road checking the sleepers – with the water on the ground I suspected they may have drowned. It was knee deep in places, and rivulets poured from atop the hill around which the battle flowed.
Na'il sprinted up beside me and disabled the bulk of the remaining enemy with a powerful and frightening spell, Horaz, Shayla and Cade took care of the rest. Drazil tended to Ruggin and we hastened to return to the refugees. We found the bulk of them safe, and we hurried down the road to Kaska. The Storm Lord relented and we were greeted by friendly troops as we approached Havenhill. I finally felt that it was over, I could breathe easy and take some rest, relieved of the burden of looking over my shoulder constantly on guard for angry enemies. Seven were lost on the trail [The navigator recorded their names but the entry is illegible] to the arms of the gods, one taken for each hero who fought that day and lived who also numbered seven.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Living as Revenge
Tonight I write this by candle light on the long road to Haven Hill. I am tired beyond feeling, of knowing pain, hunger or my own name. Na'il has proven to be an even harhser task master than Shayla, driving the poor refugees of Rittersmarche beyond endurance. Somehow they keep going. Perry has nearly gone horse from muttering prayer after prayer and singing hymns. Shayla has brewed him some tea to help his throat so he can pray the way we might need him to in battle. The Graff Twembly seems only to have grown stronger at the head of his people.
Chief Horaz thinks the enemy will be on us tomorrow, probably as the sun sets, just before we estimate we can reach Kaska. The sky portents a storm which will make for a miserable eveneing and a slow trek through the mud on the morrow. 800 souls could be lost in this mud. I prayed for the storms but now regret invoking the hand of the storm lord. His presence in the chaos surrounding us has until now favored us. The battle at Twembly Manor was a great success though more than a few innocents were killed by the Pomarj forces including the Graff's wife and all but one of his children. We were able to rescue Cade's brother and some others but the brutality with which the others were butchered have sparked a dangerous desire for vengence in my comrades.
I have advised them to live as revenge. To go on to return like the tide to ebb away the foes beachces. For my part I am looking forward to meeting T. Mak and asking him if he had enjoyed his life which has reached its end. It may be many years from now but it drives me forward.
There are tremendous dangers ahead of us our scouts will seek out a reported enemy ambush site and we are expecting to be outnumbered fully five to one, discounting the vicious worg mounts of the enemy cavalry between us and safe harbor at Haven Hill.
There isn't time to continue writing this I have just been awakened by Na'il who noticed I had drifted off. The patern formed on the ground by the papers that fell and his words have unlocked a previously hidden answer to unlock Nystul's Werelight for me and I must document that epiphany before its evanesence causes the secret to be lost to me again.
Chief Horaz thinks the enemy will be on us tomorrow, probably as the sun sets, just before we estimate we can reach Kaska. The sky portents a storm which will make for a miserable eveneing and a slow trek through the mud on the morrow. 800 souls could be lost in this mud. I prayed for the storms but now regret invoking the hand of the storm lord. His presence in the chaos surrounding us has until now favored us. The battle at Twembly Manor was a great success though more than a few innocents were killed by the Pomarj forces including the Graff's wife and all but one of his children. We were able to rescue Cade's brother and some others but the brutality with which the others were butchered have sparked a dangerous desire for vengence in my comrades.
I have advised them to live as revenge. To go on to return like the tide to ebb away the foes beachces. For my part I am looking forward to meeting T. Mak and asking him if he had enjoyed his life which has reached its end. It may be many years from now but it drives me forward.
There are tremendous dangers ahead of us our scouts will seek out a reported enemy ambush site and we are expecting to be outnumbered fully five to one, discounting the vicious worg mounts of the enemy cavalry between us and safe harbor at Haven Hill.
There isn't time to continue writing this I have just been awakened by Na'il who noticed I had drifted off. The patern formed on the ground by the papers that fell and his words have unlocked a previously hidden answer to unlock Nystul's Werelight for me and I must document that epiphany before its evanesence causes the secret to be lost to me again.
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